those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize