So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
