you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
