what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
