dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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