This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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