I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
