Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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