So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
