Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
