I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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