Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Randomize
