highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
