My hair reeks of homosexuality.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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