It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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