yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
