what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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