Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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