The maid of honor just puked.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize