Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
