but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
