so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
