Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize