I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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