And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
