capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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