we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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