Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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