Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I forget how to act sober
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize