Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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