So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
