yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
