a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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