Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
