i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
