i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize