But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
