3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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