That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
