oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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