Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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