I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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