I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My breasts were aching with rage.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
