So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
