Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
