The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
