he puts the penis in happiness.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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