YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize