i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Everclear isn't food dammit
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize