i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My pussy is not your playground.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
