How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
