I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
