What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
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