I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
