yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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