So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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