but the lizard people decide everything anyway
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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