It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you win again, gameday.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
