i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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