Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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