so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
